CHAPTER 4

Anatomy of the Yoni

Yoni, in Sanskrit, is the word for the genitals of a woman. I have noticed that most people believe that, for women, the clitoris is the seat of pleasure, and that orgasms begin and eventually end there. Actually, the entire female body is the seat of pleasure, and of course, the entire female body is involved in both orgasm and the end of the orgasm, when a sense of satisfaction takes over. The reason why we need to be utterly familiar with the vulva and breasts (and the penis!—see Chapter 11) is that we all search for better orgasms. Yes, orgasms feel good. At times they shake our entire world, but at other times they just lie there or only gently shake us, much as a mother rocks a sleeping infant. What makes the difference, we wonder, and why should one orgasm be just “okay” and another rate as a “10”? Some question if there is a “10” at all. Does a “10” orgasm only happen to “other women,” and what do those other women, or their lovers, do differently? I have met women who could achieve a hundred orgasms during sexual intercourse and others who could achieve none. This book is meant as an opportunity for you to give yourself every chance to have better orgasms. This is why it addresses both women and their partners, since the openness, knowledge, and understanding of both are crucial to achieving single and multiple orgasms. Many areas of the female body can lead to orgasm. When a lover finds these spots, the result is incredible climaxes that seem to roll from one into the other. This happens when a lover—and ladies, this includes yourselves—knows enough about a particular woman to bring her to such pleasures.

The Mons Pubis

When you first view a female without clothing, you will see that she has a fatty mound above her pubic bone. This is normal, regardless of the rest of her body’s makeup. The mound is there to protect her pubic bone during sex. The mound will have pubic hair on it unless she’s shaved it; this is common today, although some males and females prefer that the hair remains. A soft touch is best for the mound. When hair remains, slight pulling turns some women on; if shaved, the mound can be kissed and licked gently. The mons pubis is a highly erogenous zone for some women, but unfortunately, many men are not aware of this fact and miss out on a great opportunity for excitement.

The Clitoris: The Crown Jewel

In looking at the female body, most are intrigued by the clitoris, that little jewel found between a woman’s legs in what is known as the vulva. The vulva encompasses all of the sexual organs, which are made of tissues that are tremendously rich in both blood vessels and nerve endings. The clitoris is called the “Crown Jewel” in the Tantric world. If you part the lips of the vulva, you will see that the clitoris is positioned at the very top of the female genitals. This is why we are describing the clitoris next, as it is directly below the mound. (see If you part the lips of the vulva, you will see that the clitoris is positioned at the very top of the female genitals) The size of a woman’s clitoris has no bearing on how much pleasure she can receive, since it is loaded with more than eight thousand nerve endings! The roots of these are located in the G-spot, or Skene’s glands. All women have the exact same number of nerve endings, regardless of the size of their clitoris; although men may worry whether “size matters,” women need have no such uncertainty. The clitoris is very similar to a man’s penis as far as sexual sensitivity is concerned. Keep in mind, however, that the clitoris, unlike the penis, does not have an opening to allow urine or ejaculate to pass through. A woman’s urethra is found in the vulva but is not accessible via the clitoris at all. Unlike the male’s penis, the female’s clitoris is present only to allow women to attain sexual pleasure: That’s how special it is. Note too that the clitoris is not just that little nub, called the glans clitoris, but that much of the clitoris’s body is actually buried within the vaginal opening. What is visible is but the very tiny tip of the clitoris. Some women are more sensitive than others around their clitoral area. Women who have a prominent clitoris receive a lot of clitoral pleasure when made love to in what most people call the “mission- ary position”—the man on top of the woman between her parted legs–but this is not so with every woman. In order for a woman to experience a clitoral orgasm, her clitoris usually needs varying amounts of direct stimulation. Each woman is different: Some like to be touched gently and lightly, others with a harder touch and more pressure. Because something works with one woman does not mean that it will work with all of them. So many times women say to me, “He doesn’t listen to me and stimulates me all over the place,” or “His touch is too hard,” or “I need a softer motion.” A man should become aware of the effect he has on his partner by becoming one with her. Then he will become a great lover. How a woman likes to have her clitoris touched is completely independent of how orgasmic she is or may become. Regardless of what kind of touch a woman desires, it’s up to her partner to match what she says is best. Whether using the penis, the hand, or the mouth and lips, it behooves the man to explore her tenderly to find out what she likes and dislikes, keeping in mind that every woman is different.

The Shaft

The shaft of the clitoris, measuring about 1½ inches in length, has spongy tissue like the penis and may erect under stimulation. The shaft is attached to the pubic bone; on each side are two legs, the crura (or crus, if referring to only one), measuring about 3 inches, which are attached to the base of the pubis. The entire clitoris looks like an upside-down letter ‘Y’ that has been bent forward at the top. It is covered by a foreskin (or prepuce or hood). When a woman is sexually aroused, the clitoris swells slightly, the foreskin pulls back, and the glans or “button,” which is the most sensitive part of the clitoris, becomes hard. This is similar to what happens when a penis becomes erect when stimulated. Internally, the clitoral shaft has a little bend in it, called the “clitoral knee.” If you imagine it as a crooked finger, only the top joint emerges from the foreskin. Unlike the shaft of the penis, which hangs freely, the clitoris is fixed in place beneath the skin, and so a woman has little freedom of motion for stimulation. The penis’s ability to move enables a man to thrust in and out of his partner; if the penis were fixed like the clitoris, a man would need to rub his body up and down along his partner’s body to stimulate himself in the same way that a woman rubs up and down against his pubic bone. It may sound as though women are at a disadvantage because of the clitoris’s inability to move; however, this is not true. Since the clit is fixed in place, any downward pull on the skin covering the shaft and forks of the clitoris is felt directly in the glans. This means that a penis going in and out of the vagina, indirectly stimulates the glans clitoris by pulling and releasing the clitoral root and shaft. This indirect stimulation can often cause a woman to have an orgasm, even though it may take longer than having an orgasm by direct stimulation of the clit. Since the clitoris is covered by skin and fat, many men and women think that they have not stimulated the clitoris when in fact they have done so. A vaginal orgasm is actually an orgasm produced by the clitoral crura. Although these types of orgasms occur, they are less common than those produced by direct stimulation of the clitoris. This is because male ejaculation usually happens before the crura have been sufficiently excited. However; a female ejaculation which is issue from the stimulation of the Skene’s gland is not a vaginal orgasm. The Labia Majora and Minora Some women have prominent labia, or lips, surrounding the vagina, and some have very withdrawn or tiny labia; keep in mind that all are normal, regardless of the predominance of one type or the other. The lips themselves can be tenderly rubbed and gently pulled apart to locate the vagina, as well as the clitoris. (see drawing: The lips themselves can be tenderly rubbed) Any–and the emphasis is on any–of these parts can be gently licked to bring untold pleasure to the female. Partners, take your time: At the beginning, lick slowly. You will notice the whole vulva getting darker and swelling when your partner approaches a certain level of excitement leading up to her orgasm.

The Urethral Opening

The urethra, located just above the vagina, can provide a place for bacteria to grow and become infected. It is important for a woman to urinate after intercourse to prevent infection.

The Vagina

The vagina, in Sanskrit, is called the “Sacred Temple” or “Divine Passage.” This is the orifice that will be used for entry, whether by a tampon, penis, tongue, or hand. The vagina is also where a baby comes from when a woman gives birth. The vagina is tremendously elastic, as it needs to be able to accept a penis or the fingers of a hand and, ultimately, a baby’s head. The vagina is also the marvelous passageway between the vulva and the cervix (see diagram) or the neck of the uterus, found very deep inside. The vagina itself can be pleasured by penis, tongue, or fingers, and if additional wetness is needed to pleasure other sections of a woman’s vulva, this is where it can be obtained. A larger penis will occasionally push upon the cervix, which some women find erogenous and some others do not enjoy.

The G-Spot

Inside the vagina, located in its frontal wall (on the roof or upper side when a woman is lying on her back), is the famous “G-spot.” The The lips themselves can be tenderly rubbed The lips themselves can be tenderly rubbed Gräfenberg spot, named after German gynecologist Ernst Gräfenberg, causes additional sexual pleasure, and its stimulation can result in female ejaculation (“Amrita” in Sanskrit). The G-spot is located approximately 1½ inches from the opening of the vagina, has a ridged structure much like the roof of the mouth, or buccal cavity, and under stimulation increases in size. G-spot pleasure is probably the greatest pleasure a woman will encounter, and I would encourage any woman to explore this. I have met women who have never experienced orgasm from stimulation of the clitoral area but who have tremendous ejaculations. Later on, they found they were able to experience pleasure from the clitoral area. Our senses are in continuous evolution, and it is important to leave open all of the doors, to be able to experience new, unexpected pleasures. The Pubococcygeus Muscles Whether you are eighteen years old or seventy, as a woman you are going to need your pubococcygeus muscles. All around the vagina a woman has a tremendous amount of muscular tissue, and it is these muscles that tighten and loosen during the act of having sex and during orgasm. No wonder these PC muscles are also known as the love muscles. The pubococcygeus muscles may be strengthened by tightening them with Kegel exercises (see Chapter 7). In addition to performing traditional Kegels, some different ways to improve the strength of the PC muscles include toys or exerciser aids such as jade or Ben Wa balls, barbells, or the Kegelmaster. (see pictures Ben Wa balls, barbells, the Kegelmaster) The advantage of using a device inside the vagina is that the muscles automatically know what to do, and exercising this way will make the muscles stronger than if you exercise the PC muscles consciously without squeezing anything. The metal or jade balls are great because of their weight, and they can be used discreetly during the day to strengthen. (see picture metal balls) With practice, stronger PC muscles may bring you to a vaginal orgasm. Wouldn’t it be nice to have a very pleasant orgasm while you are working at your desk and smiling at your boss—something that 90 percent of women wish they could have? The advantages of stronger PC muscles are several and all highly desirable: absolutely and affirmatively better orgasms, proper positioning of the fetus during delivery, and control of urinary continence, especially when estrogen levels fall with the approach of menopause. (see drawing: The advantages of stronger PC muscles are several and all highly desirable: absolutely and affirmatively better orgasms)

The A-Spot

The anterior fornix erogenous zone, discovered by the Malaysian Dr. Chua Chee Ann, is located deeper inside the vagina toward the uterus (see diagram) and is known as the “A-spot.” The A-spot is sometimes referred to as a secondary G-spot because it too can produce an orgasm if stimulated repeatedly, and it definitely creates ample vaginal lubrication or wetness in the female. The penis rarely reaches this spot because it is so deep within the vagina; however, the A-spot can be stimulated using the fingers or curved toys made specifically to reach it. As you can see from the diagram, it too is located on the upper portion of the vagina when a woman is lying on her back. For some women, the A-spot can be extremely pleasurable, especially if stimulated at the same time as the G-spot. Some women may have female ejaculation by massage of the A-spot alone. A-spot massage must be very gentle, unlike G-spot massage, which can be quite vigorous.

The U-Spot

This is the latest erogenous zone been discovered, and there have been many reports that gently rubbing this area, whether manually, penis or tongue, can create an orgasm. This erogenous zone is logically called the “U-spot” and is found directly above and to the sides of the urethra’s opening. (see drawing: “U-spot” and is found directly above and to the sides of the urethra’s opening) It needs to be stimulated gently, perhaps using the moisture of the vagina. Also ask your partner to rub with his tongue delicately in U-spot” and is found directly above and to the sides of the urethra’s opening order to create pleasure. The U-spot is a jewel of secret pleasure, and you will love to receive some attention in that zone.

The Perinea

Finally, moving toward the anus, we encounter the perinea (see diagram), which is the area just in front of the anus. It is a highly sensitive area that has many nerve endings. This erogenous zone can be used to excite a woman with gentle touches, kisses, and licks of the tongue. I call the perinea my life buoy; if your partner does not respond to your other foreplay, pushing the perinea gently will do wonderful work for a man.

The Breasts

When a female is excited sexually, her body sends messages to her brain telling it to increase blood flow to her sexual organs. As a result, a woman’s entire vulva becomes very moist and fully engorged with blood. Similarly, the breasts begin to swell, which makes the nipples harden. The more this happens, the more sensitive a woman becomes to touch, and so the brain is told to send more blood into these areas. In essence, this is why women are slower to fully excite: This loop of pleasurable messaging from the body to the brain and from the brain to blood flow needs to be sent forth a number of times for complete sexual excitement. Female breasts are often the means to sexual excitation. Medically, the breasts are referred to as mammary glands, but sexually there are many different names associated with female breasts. Of course, you know that female breasts are responsible for milk production after a female gives birth. Sexually, however, the breast has many nerve endings, especially around the nipple and the darker portion called the areola. When excited sexually, a woman’s nipples harden, and the skin around them puckers. Breasts come in a variety of sizes, of course, but size does not affect the sensual feelings of the breast. Every woman derives different pleasures from having her breasts touched or sucked, and the pleasure triggers are different from woman to woman. Caressing the female breast can mean just that–gentle soft touches– while some women prefer a harder touch such as kneading or pinching of the breast area and the nipple. Exploration of a woman’s breasts is one of the joys of sex for both sexes. Correspondence with the Penis/Lingam The penis, or lingam in Sanskrit, is the male organ. In tantra, it is useful to remember that its parts correspond to women’s anatomy as follows: • Clitoris = Head of penis • Hood = Foreskin • Labia Majora = Scrotum • Labia Minora = Shaft • Ovaries = Testicles • Perinea = Perinea • Anus = Anus. The lingam is discussed in full detail in Chapter 11. Anatomy Exercise for Women and Men This chapter is not meant merely to be a course in anatomy. The point is to use your knowledge. People often take small, halting steps on the path to full sexual awareness. Letting go in a Tantric way requires practice. Here are a few exercises you can try: • Place your naked self in front of a mirror, and learn about your body. Study the entire genital area. It is important to slowly discover your body, focusing and meditating on each part of the anatomy described above. Become aware of their form and pleasure it can give you. More you will become aware of your sexual anatomy and more you will enjoy. • Look at the vaginal lips. Part them, and see the wonderful pink tissues that you have. • Next, locate your clitoris, your urethra, your vagina, the perinea, and your anus. Don’t just look; ever so gently touch them all, explore, and be amazed. • Caress your breast and nipples and watch their colour changing and how hard and erect they become. • Caress your clitoris and watch the physical changes that occur. • You also may do the same for your partner and let your partner do the same for you. You may take his penis, caress it stroke it but don’t make him ejaculate. He will do the same for your breast, vagina, labias and clitoris, Becoming each other aware of your sexual anatomy is the way of know each other and sexually trust each. This practice can be done each time prior sex. It may feel awkward at the beginning but you will start to feel more and more comfortable with each other body very rapidly. Trusting each other is the first step for an amazing orgasm. Motivational Moment The nicest and best way to learn more about what your body can bring you and how to have better orgasms with each sexual adventure is to know where everything is located (including your U-spot, G- spot, and A-spot), how deeply your glans clitoris goes, and (even better) how to stimulate them! Exploration of all your magic spots is the best way to start your sexual journey. Do not expect your partner to always be able to pleasure you if you yourself do not know everything about your anatomy. You should be able to communicate with and guide him and together have wonderful sexual pleasure. Note About Sexual Anatomy This chapter has pointed out all of the erogenous zones that you will encounter throughout this book. You will undoubtedly return to this chapter again and again for clarification, as these zones will be used as your pleasure spots for better and better orgasms. Fill in this log to record the results of your exercises: 1. Which of your magic spots did you explore this week: Mons Pubis, Clitoris, A-Spot, U-Spot, G-spot, Vagina, Perinea, Breasts? Did you do your Kegels or try exercise aids for strengthening your PC muscles? 2. What change do you want to see in yourself spiritually and sexually? 3. How do you feel about your own sexuality, now that you have done these exercises? 4. On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 the maximum, how have these exercises improved the quality of your orgasm(s)?

Chapter 1

Veronica A Thousand-Mile Journey Begins With One Step

I saw her energy like the immensity of the ocean, ready to be released. An ocean in love with its own beauty and the pleasures it had to offer. An ocean ready to embrace ecstasy without condition. Once that ocean was released, she would be free to open her arms to universal love.

Name: Veronica

Age: 40

Profession: teacher

Marital status: divorced

Sexual concern: “I want to clear a trauma from my body.”

Date: October 15

Every journey begins somewhere. Sometimes you find out the ending long before you learn the beginning. But no matter where the journey takes you, ultimately the ending is a new beginning. Over the course of our lives, we influence people and give them the direction they need in their life. In encounters with my clients, I give them an experience that opens their mind and souls. In turn they become more productive, and something in their lives changes from emptiness to fulfillment.

That is where my journey begins. I’m dedicating a tremendous amount of time to this journey so that I may do it right. I’m lucky enough to have the time to do it, as I work as a dental technician with flexible hours. I work with my fingers and my hands for a living, but I also work with my hands and fingers in this higher calling.

During a midlife crisis, Veronica contacted me from one of my initial informal online postings. It was my first encounter with my new approach, and it would prove to teach me a considerable amount.

Wednesday, October 15, 1:56 p.m.

I saw your ad; sounds interesting. I was wondering about your overall training in massage, both formal and Tantric. How long have you been practicing this type of massage and massage in general? Do you charge? If so, what are your fees? How long does the massage last? Do you remain fully clothed?

I was relieved someone was interested in my ad. It can be a little stressful putting your ideas out there and wondering whether they’ll be accepted, and how people might react. I understood Veronica’s cautious approach. So I responded promptly and sent her a few things I had written about Tantra, as well as a questionnaire.

Wednesday, October 15, 4:18 p.m.

How long have you been practicing this type of massage and massage in general? I learned Tantric massage 15 years ago. Tantric massage is different than Swedish massage, and one of the primary purposes of Tantra—and Tantric massage—is to awaken the Kundalini. In yoga, the Kundalini is your sexual energy, an intense, healing energy that, for most people, lies dormant at the base of the spine (the sacrum). Kundalini is also known as prana or chi.

Tantric arts are becoming more popular in our culture due to one of its more pleasurable side effects. When the Kundalini is awakened, or drawn out, it awakens the body’s sexual energy Tantric massage makes you feel as if you’re in a trance, where physical boundaries dissolve, time disappears, and worries and problems no longer seem important or are forgotten altogether.

Do you charge? If so, what are your fees? How long does the massage last?

I have no fees, because there’s no price for this type of experience. Some people don’t feel anything, however, while others reach the intensely pleasurable peaks.

Do you remain fully clothed?

I always keep my clothes on unless the other person is ravishing me, or when I forget to put them on in the first place.

I hoped Veronica saw the humor in my statement. Apparently she had, because she sent me an email with more questions.

Is there any talking during the massage? Do you explain what you are doing next?

Each person is different. You already mentioned that you don’t like much talking, as it’s too distracting and you like to turn your mind toward your sensuality, which is fine. The most important thing is to remember is to breathe, which helps to eliminate or resolve trauma.

I assume the purpose of getting an overview of my past sexual response is to integrate your personal knowledge of me into the work we undertake. Yes, of course, because each person is different. Some women never have an orgasm, and others have multiple orgasms within a few minutes. Some women never masturbate, and others do it three times a day. The sensitivity of the clitoris is different for each woman. Some tell me, “I want to ejaculate as soon as possible. Do wherever it takes. I leave it up to you. I trust you. Please make me feel that famous female ejaculation.” They also say, “Sometimes I feel it’s so close to happening when I masturbate, but I need your help.” They trust me and enjoy the journey. Each woman has her own timeline to reach that level of pleasure. ( see drawing The sensitivity of the clitoris is different for each woman)

Do you provide the massage oil? Music?

I no longer provide music because I gave away so many CDs that I have no more to share. If you have some music you’d like to play, that’s fine. Music often is quickly forgotten in the excitement of the massage, but it’s nice to have it at the beginning. I do have my own sensual essential organic massage oil, “Relax body oil” which is the best on the market. You’ll need a lot of towels, a pillow, and candles, if you desire. The sensitivity of the clitoris is different for each woman

I take it the procedure happens as outlined in your ad?

Yes, I’ll explain how to keep breathing deeply, which will help you to stay focused on your pleasure. I’ll begin with the back, a gentle touch along the spinal column to warm up the body. Then the massage begins with the neck, down to the bottom, legs, feet, etc.

How do you know when to move to the next step?

I simply know. A woman is, and always will be, a mystery to a man, but at least he should try his best to understand a woman and remain intuitive to her needs. When I’m tuning my mind into a woman’s thoughts I sometimes feel her sexual history, and some

times only by touching her with my hands. Women always let me know what they want to do, or feel, and there isn’t much need for talk. Each person has different expectations. I always respect their boundaries and don’t abuse their willingness. But when a woman moves her hips up and down, it’s a sign she’s ready for a more intimate massage. A man shouldn’t touch his partner if he doesn’t see that sign. This doesn’t mean his partner won’t have an orgasm. But in her mind she might think he was too quick and that she should have made the man wait more and tease her. Most men don’t like to be teased, but women do.

I have nothing to prove anymore. I do this to help women sexually. I attempt to heighten a woman’s sex drive and relieve her from stress. Sometimes it works; sometimes it doesn’t. But it’s always worth a try. I have no idea when or if I’ll be able to deliver that goal with you. But I’m aware of the gift I can bring to a woman.

If you’re ready, it will work, but it can take from one day to two months. You might think two months is long time. It’s nothing, however, when you consider that most women go through their entire lives without feeling this incredible pleasure.

You need to have a lot of trust with your giver. But look at all the progress you’ve made in just a few days, thanks to a few emails. Don’t worry about the next step. Enjoy today, because it’s a gift. You just need to be yourself completely, enjoy the pleasure of the touch, and express your pleasure loudly, if you want. You might share or not, or let me know how you feel. This is all about you and up to you.

My fingers will slowly and gently rub your labia, then play with and tease your clitoris. Your own excitement will allow me to slowly slide inside your vagina, which will be dripping with that wonderful nectar of love. It will happen naturally; nothing will be forced because everything will be in harmony with your body’s excitement, The waves within your body will want my fingers inside your vagina. My fingers will massage, at the same time, the two most erogenous zones: the G-spot, situated about an inch from the entrance to the vagina, and the A-spot, while lies near the cervix. Simultaneously, I’ll look after your clitoris.. I’ll titillate or rub it, using the most gentle and sensual approach to help you achieve orgasm.

An ejaculation (or Love Fountain or Riding the Wave) occurs when the G-spot is swollen and massaged. When this happens, occasionally a woman will see some part of her sexuality in front of her as if it were a movie. If this happens, it’s important to keep breathing deeply, which will help dispel it. A G-spot massage alternates soft and strong pushes. Women often feel a bit of discomfort at first, because they feel as if they’re about to urinate. The feeling, however, is actually quite nice and beautiful.. Be completely at ease, and if you believe you need to urinate while I massage your G-spot, please do. Don’t worry; female ejaculate contains only a negligible amount of urine. Let go, be yourself, and act as if you’re alone. The towels will protect the bed. Understand this is a normal function of your body that comes from a part of you that has never been excited in this manner.

The experience is similar to when you go to the gym for the first time. Afterward, the muscles might be very sore, but a few days later you no longer feel any pain and you enjoy your workouts. Discomfort arises because the fluid needs to find a natural way to leave your body. Once it happens, you’ll never again feel discomfort during ejaculation. But you’ll need to handle the initial discomfort to enjoy the ride of pleasure later. Of course, it’s not severe pain; it’s a discomfort mixed with erotic pleasure.

I apologize if my explanation comes off as crude. I just want you understand the process, and know what to expect. Everyone is different, as we are human. Basically, you need to trust me. Ejaculation happens only when there is trust. I know it’s a lot to ask. You’ll need to release your mind. Look at me as someone who can show you another level of your sexuality. Don’t worry about me; I don’t have any sexual frustration. I’m perfectly content with my life. If such pleasure happens, please take it as a wonderful and sensual gift.

After sending the email, I paused and inhaled deeply. I hoped Veronica would be the first woman my ad brought in and one of many I ended up helping. Several hours later I received another email from her.

Wednesday, October 15, 9:31 p.m.

If you don’t charge a fee, what do you gain from the experience? What, if anything, do you expect in return?

Her questions were valid, and I understood where she was coming from, so I quickly wrote her back and avoiding the real question. She was thinking, am I going to have to give him a blow- job just because it is a free massage?

It takes a lot of experience to massage the Sacred Spot, and some never reach that point. I’m one of the gifted ones. What is my purpose? In short it is to share a special moment and give great pleasure. You will see once you ride the wave of your inner sensuality. You are the one who is important; just find out what you can get out of the experience. Do you want to learn how to reach that special climax?

Much later in my journey, those beautiful sex goddesses starving for pleasure and after to have soaked the bed so much will handling me the condom and will say please fuck me I need it. But today, I wanted to gain Veronica’s trust, and the more informa

tion she had the more likely that trust could build. Hopefully she’d realize she couldn’t learn everything about Tantra through emails alone. Finally her response came back.

Wednesday October 15, 10:15 p.m.

I am not super familiar, but not completely unfamiliar either, with what you talk about in your ad and below in your message. Are you seeking anything else from this ad besides the opportunity to give a Tantric massage? Can you call me? My number is 323-555-9173.

I grabbed my Blackberry and quickly dialed Veronica’s number. In hindsight this might have came across as desperation, but I wanted to show her I had good intentions. The phone rang three times, which to me felt like forever.

“This is Veronica,” a soft voice answered.

“Veronica. This is Jean-Claude. How are you?”

“Oh, hi.” She paused. “I didn’t think you’d call so soon.”

“Did I catch you at a bad time?”

“No, I just hoped to have more time to formulate my questions. I have a few more to ask you.”

“Please,” I said. “Ask any questions you have.”

“I’m not sure how this will work for me. Obviously, the Tantric massage is highly personal, and comfort with the masseur will be of the utmost importance so I can relax enough to allow for as much trust as possible.”

“I’m very relaxed, with an easygoing personality,” I told her. “Don’t worry about me. If you like to be massaged, you’ll love Tantric massage, which is a very gentle sensual massage to open your chakras. It will ease your stress and put you in complete harmony with your sensuality.”

“I do enjoy a good massage,” she said quietly. “Is there normally sexual attraction between you and the woman you’re massaging? Is the appearance of the person with whom you’re working important to you?”

“Not at all. I see only the energy and aura of the person.”

“Interesting.” Veronica was silent for a moment. “What criteria do you use in deciding whether you’ll perform a Tantric massage for a woman?”

“I need to speak to the person, know they seek relaxation, have an open mind, and have real motivation. As you know, the yoni massage and the G-spot massage are extremely sensual, and sometimes women reach a powerful climax.”

After a long silence she said, “Okay. Here’s my motivation. I have an extremely strong sexuality. It’s always been strong, but it’s gotten stronger after being dormant for a time while I breastfed my son. During that time, my marriage declined. I just turned 40, so I think part of my lowered libido was due to changes in my hormone levels. Suffice it to say, I have a lot of fire in me. But I also have some pain surrounding my sexuality, too. I wasn’t raised in an emotionally healthy environment, and I’ve spent a good portion of my adult life overcoming dysfunctional patterns caused by early trauma. I’ve always attracted a ton of men, which I was never really taught how to handle. I didn’t have healthy boundaries, and I found myself in situations I didn’t fully choose or want.”

She continued, “I’ve spent the better part of the last year exploring my sexuality. Despite becoming aroused easily, I find climax difficult to impossible except through intercourse with myself on top, riding my partner. I’d like to be able to relax more deeply within my sexuality, and open more fully. When I read your ad, it rang true for me that I definitely have ‘blocked’ energy around my sexuality. I recently had a traumatic experience. Although it wasn’t technically rape, it has affected me in a similar way. I’m interested in clearing out this trauma from my body.”

Veronica went on, telling me she wanted to be able to easily climax by becoming more familiar with her body and what brought her pleasure. She told me she’d always been open to new sexual experiences and had been curious about Tantra for a while. But she was telling me look, I met so many men lately, and no one really give me an orgasm , because they are preoccupied to get their own pleasure, I feel frustrated. I need someone who give great pleasure and make me cum for change.

I responded sincerely. “Thank you,” I told her. “This gives me a better idea of where you’re coming from. I’m so sorry to hear of the pain you experienced.” Then I hang-up rapidly. I usually, like to keep the phone conversation professional and short. Such conversation can easily become a sex phone call; my guest would masturbate while I talk to her, have her orgasm and hang up the phone. Then once she had share her release with me she won’t be interested about tantra not today neither tomorrow nor the day after. She would have teased me, it is all what she wanted. However, if she masturbated after I hang up the phone she would still have the desire and need to see me.

Women may think for years how to live their fantasy but once she make up her mind that fantasy will become a reality in an instant. Welcome to the women world, where men will never understand. Men should accept it the way it is. Timing is everything in sexual world. Men need to learn how to manage their timing. Before it is too early and after it is too late. The timing of men is controlled by the urge of his sexuality if he moves too fast and his shyness or nonchalance if he moves too late. Men need to develop and to listen that internal clock without preoccupation of their need or emotion. I use to be one of the worst timer you could imagine. A lot of experience taught me to become a great one. I learn to wait, to make a woman do the first move. If a woman likes you she will find charming you do the first move. But if you cannot stop yourself to do the first move, don’t make it obvious that it will be compromise you and make you look like a fool. Don’t forget subtlety is everything. You don’t have to send three dozen of red rose to the secretary who smiled at you only once when you delivered the company mail, an ice cream at lunch time will be do the same if there is a connection from her part.

Veronica and I arranged to meet at a coffee shop the following morning. After I hung up, I felt very nervous. To bolster my confidence, I turned on my computer and watched all YouTube videos I could find on erotic massage. It had been many years since I’d taken a tantra massage course. By the time I was done, however, I felt ready for my first “real-life” massage. I felt like an actor taking the stage for the first time. More exactly I was like a doctor, who has been already studied for many years with all his teachers around him. He was eager to start his carrier. But, there was no more net around him to stop his fall. It was a bright-blue, balmy Sunday morning when I met Veronica at a West Hollywood coffee shop. She was wearing a short skirt, tank top, and flip-flops, and her blunt-cut rich brown hair brushed her shoulders. From the moment I sat across from her, I could tell she was excited; her warm brown eyes smoldered with pent-up sexual energy

Beneath the glass table, I saw the short white skirt she was wearing. Thin lace panties clung close to her thighs. Her eyes met mine, and she spread her legs a little then tugged the cloth down as she winked at me. I was thinking, you are wet , aroused and your pussy is throbbing.

“So, when do we get that massage you promised?” Her tone was coy, and her thick lashes batted innocently in my direction.

“We can begin any time you like.” I responded, and held my breath. “I just need you to trust me completely.”

She smiled a little. “As far as ‘trusting you completely,’ I have no idea. The body is an animal, and I can’t will myself to trust someone. I’ll trust you to the extent I’m able. But so far, I’m comfortable.”

“Yes, of course. You understand what I mean.”

“I do,” I was thinking you can become an animal any time, this will depends how much you will trust me to let yourself go wild. I will learn that for a woman to let go herself go sexually it takes for a man a lot of experience. A woman will always want to stay in control of her sexuality. There is always a part of her which will say don’t give yourself to him, he is not worth it, he is not the one who deserve your body and mind completely. He won’t appreciate you. I met a woman who was married for eighteen years have three children and told me “I never open myself to my husband as open to you, for me you are magic. You know exactly when, where and how to touch me” She was right, sexual connection it is all about : when, where and how.

Veronica said. “My apartment is just up the way. Follow me.” She stood up, straightened her skirt, and began to walk away.

Giddy with anticipation, I followed her around the corner to her apartment. Her place was pleasant enough, and she had thought in advance to turn on some soft classical guitar music. It was barely there but enough to drown out any street noise.

“Would you like something to drink before I change?” she murmured demurely.

I asked for a glass of water, prolonging her wait just a bit more. Now that we were here she had a real purpose about her. I knew from her movements—especially the way she softly swayed her hips—that what other women had described to me was occurring within her. Bolts of anticipatory electricity ran from her very core down to her yoni. Still, she tried to act nonchalant as she filled a tall glass of water from the dispenser in the refrigerator door. She quickly handed it to me and silently went into her bedroom, closing the door behind her.

When the door reopened I smelled the lavender candles I saw flickering behind her as she moved toward me, hand extended in invitation. She wore a sheer white negligee, slightly ruffled at the bottom and with a baby-doll hemline. Her ample breasts showed clearly through, and her cocoa-colored nipples stood stiffly at attention. Veronica was tall and slender, and quite sexy. She had more curve to her waist, hips, and buttocks than I had realized, and her skin was rich and tan. Her hair was done up in a chignon and naturally sun-streaked with assorted blonde highlights.

“I have the candles and all the towels you requested set up on the bed.” She smiled inquisitively, and I could tell she wondered whether I found her pleasing to look at, but I just let her continue to wonder. This was about her pleasure, not mine. I took her hand and let her lead the way.

I had Veronica remove her gown and lie facedown on the bed. She had an exquisite all-over tan. I slathered lavender-scented massage oil on my hands, which would complement the candles that dimly lit the room, their flames dancing in the large mirror above the bureau. I caught the smile on her face in her reflection in the mirror, but I averted my eyes and concentrated on the work at hand.

I started with her neck and shoulders (see drawing neck massage) then worked my way down in small circles as I periodically reminded her to breathe deeply. Veronica’s breathing was systematically rhythmic until I reached the small of her back and felt her buttocks arch slightly upward, opening up her freshly waxed mound to my view. I ran the backs of my fingernails in a circular motion from the top of her buttocks to the crease where her thighs joined her ass. With this she gasped lightly and arched her body more, begging me to touch her yoni. I ignored her and moved on to her thighs, working my way down to her feet, thoroughly massaging every part of her, and finally instructing her to roll on to her back, which she eagerly did. Neck massage

Again I massaged her upper body. Veronica’s eyes were closed, a knowing smile on her lips as she breathed a little less rhythmically until I got to her breasts. Her eyes fluttered a bit, and her breathing became shallow as I cupped her breast. After a few moments, I massaged her rock-hard nipples gently between my thumbs and forefingers, making her gasp and shift her thighs farther apart as she wriggled under my hands. Her breathing grew a bit ragged, so I knew her chakras were opening and channeling energy to her yoni. I worked her nipples until I felt a little shudder of pleasure. Her eyelids relaxed a bit, and her breathing grew more rhythmic.

Finally, when I knew she was steeped in anticipation and losing patience, I massaged down her torso, until I got to her uplifted mound, which I ignored temporarily, then moved on to her spread thighs. I dragged my fingers softly along her inner thighs and felt intense heat radiating from her yoni. Veronica arched toward me, demanding I pay attention, but I had to remain in control and take my time, building her anticipation. When I finally allowed my fingers to massage her labia, she gasped and moaned slightly, but she was still very dry, so I shifted my massage to the small area between her vagina and ass, the perinea, creating an instant flood of wetness accompanied by a low guttural moan of surprise and another gasp.

Veronica’s clitoris was engorged in anticipation, so I turned my attention to it, sliding my fingers inside her slick vagina to massage her secret spot while my thumb worked her swollen, throbbing button. She pushed her hips at my fingers and hands, arching, writhing, and wriggling, almost thrashing. She gasped and moaned, her eyes fluttering open periodically, pleading to ride the wave. I reminded her to breathe deeply, but it was to no avail as her breathing remained ragged, punctuated by moans and slight sucking sounds. Her body shuddered many times, but it wasn’t the crashing crescendo either of us was looking for. I heard growls of pleasure

She writhed so much that the bobby pins flew from her chignon and her hair tumbled down in beautiful ringlets. This went on for some time, her level of excitement growing more electric, but before I could use my mouth to finish pleasuring her she im

patiently jumped up off the bed and darted into the bathroom to finish things herself. From the bedroom, I heard growls of pleasure. She returned with a knowing, satisfied smile. ( see drawing I heard growls of pleasure)

“I need to see you again,” she whispered through heavy breath.

“Why?” I asked.

“All the fire I just felt in my body. It’s nothing like I’ve experienced before. It left me wanting more. I can’t explain. I was not prepared. I like to stay in control, with you I am not sure if I can” She smiled and kissed my cheek gently.

“I’m not looking for a relationship,” I told her naively and stupidly. Like if I did not have anything else to say in front of such failure from my part. I was failing like a junior high school.

Veronica smiled. “Neither am I. I need a man who can help meet my basic needs. My door is always open if you decide you want to do that for me.”

I smiled too. “I see your energy like the immensity of the ocean, ready to be released. An ocean that loves to be admired for its beauty and the pleasure it has to offer. It’s an ocean that loves to be pleasured without condition. Once that ocean is released, it will feel free it of its past and open its arms to the universal love.” I could be a great poet sometime if I had too.

Veronica watched intently as I gathered my things. I can only imagine what went through her mind. It seemed like she had something more to say but didn’t have the courage.

We parted warmly, and I left with more knowledge than before I had arrived. I knew this incredible journey I had embarked upon would be the ride of my life.

Sometimes, as the autumn rains crash into the soft sands of the ocean, I recall her name. She wanted something more from me, but it was something I did not know yet what was. I did not know that I had to be the captain of my journey, and make sure I was certain of what I was doing. I was going to play with the sexuality of many women in Hollywood and I better to know what I was doing. Otherwise they will all end up masturbating in the bathroom. Each time I smell the heady scent of lavender, my thoughts drift back to Veronica’s arched, insistent hips, pushing on my hands, demanding more and more pleasure. Secret Teachings

Veronica’s Feedback

After our encounter, Veronica sent me a short note:

Jean-Claude,

You are a true lover of the vagina and female sexuality in general. You have a nice energy about you. You touched my soul and made me feel alive again. Areas of my soul that were closed down now burn with flames, and I thank you for my reawakening. With your gifted hands and passion you have delivered me to a place that I can only dream of going again.

I only wish you peace and joy in your life. Namaste, Veronica Veronica could have had an even better time if I’d had more Tantric experience. I’d taken a Tantra message seminar 15 years earlier in Australia and again in India, but I lacked practice. Maybe 15 years is too long a time. The experience wasn’t as difficult it as I imagined, but the results weren’t perfect either. Of course, I was disappointed when she went to finish in the bathroom. My self- esteem and ego were badly bruised, and hearing her moaning in the other room didn’t make me very proud. So I promised myself it wouldn’t happen again.

I vowed I’d learn to help women achieve sexual excitement. I’d learn to use the magic point to make them wet, and I’d remember to press the perinea, the point between the anus and the vagina. I knew I just needed to press it gently to arouse a woman instantly. It’s a highly erogenous zone. I promised myself I’d use it often, as it worked so well. Each woman would wonder why she suddenly became so aroused. I mused that they’d think my hands were magic. Later, with just a touch on that spot, some women wet the bed even before I touched them more intimately.

That first massage probably wasn’t that bad after all, because Veronica was ready to invite me again, but I chose not to go. I felt she had become aware of her control and power over me and then grew more demanding. She requested some specific Tantric ritual she had read about online. I told her I was an artist of sex and couldn’t bend myself to such demand. However, I vowed to use the ritual later on in my journey. Like a breathing exercise, I’d sit in lotus between the legs of clients. Over time, I’ve learned I need to be in charge and never let a client decide for me. If a woman feels that she’s mentally stronger, as a man you’re dead meat.

I was astonished how easy it was to ask a woman to undress and lie down and then tell her she was ready to be pleasured. This new hobby, or mission, was going to be a lot of fun. So many men posted ads to find women but received no answers. I placed a classified ad that said, “Professional Tantric Masseur for Select Women in Need,” and received countless replies from women who were ready to remove their clothes. They were saying, “Please come and pleasure me. My body is yours for the next two hours. Do whatever you wish, as long it’s pleasurable.”

I had done well for my first massage! A long, exciting journey was beginning. This was my small first step.

My Confession

It had been difficult to resist Veronica’s advances after the massage. She was ready for more, but she was too controlling. She kept touching me, pressing her body against mine. She wanted to seduce and dominate me. I was aroused and still can feel the moisture of her excited sex between my fingers. I smell her desire like a fully blooming rose, heavy, scented, and breathtaking. But I told her I wouldn’t see her again. I couldn’t allow her to seduce me—for her sake and mine.

To see her again, and allow her to control the relationship, would steer me away from what I was trying to accomplish. My goal was to allow a woman to seek sexual satisfaction and also give her the peaceful release a G-spot orgasm can offer. It was about allowing her body to be explored in a moment of passion and relax it while meeting its basic needs.

As I walked to my car, my sexual desire slowly subsided and I settled into a blissful state of wellbeing. That is Tantra—the perfection and purity of truth and harmony and the ability to safeguard it from harm.

I never saw Veronica again. We continued our email exchanges for a while, and she begged me to return. But I was committed to my mission and intensely attuned to what she needed, and dominating me, or any man sexually, wasn’t it. Of course she knew it, and in her last email she thanked me for making her so intensely aware of the game she was playing. Her final words were: “I think I’m beginning to understand. May you be happy, healthy, and strong, and may I be enlightened enough to wish this for every man who will grace me with his love.”

Note About the G-Spot

Veronica contacted me because she had heard about the G- spot orgasm and was interested in clearing a sexual trauma from her body. Initially, she believed her clitoral orgasm was better than a G-spot orgasm. How could I explain to her that G-spot stimulation was something deeper, another door to her sexuality? How many women would give me the opportunity to do what I really wanted? I knew I could do it because I had practiced on many of my partners. I didn’t know, however, how long it would take to improve my skills. I certainly didn’t realize I would massage more than 150 women over the next 18 months.

I was a pioneer in a way. No one thus far, to my knowledge, had planned to massage hundreds of G-spots and make notes about it. Some female doctors either had reported their own ejaculations or documented conversations with patients about the G-spot. But they never stimulated their patients with their fingers. Some men probably stimulated many women, but to my knowledge they never wrote their observations in a diary. I’d have to find my way to the most beautiful secret garden of women in need, which made my mission a real challenge. ( see drawing How could I explain to her that G-spot stimulation was something deeper) How could I explain to her that G-spot stimulation was something deeper

My Corner Advice Tantra: The Physical and Spiritual Union

Modern society looks at sex as a physical union between two people. But Tantra views sex beyond its physicality and considers it a connection between souls. Tantra sees sex as a tool that stimulates the internal strength of humans. Tantra aims at transforming sex into an amazing feeling between two individuals, achieved through proper understanding and practice. Tantra educates people to consider sex beyond the physical union and use it to reinforce the bond between partners. It advocates using the power of sex to enhance the relationship between partners and help them lead fulfilled lives.

Tantra doesn’t educate individuals merely about the means to achieving gratifying sex but also insists on creativity during sex. Being good in bed isn’t the only aim of sex; offering internal satisfaction and pleasing your partner is the true goal of Tantric sex. Women are typically more aware and centered and have much more sexual potential than men, but they usually don’t recognize their potential. To feel their inner strength, they must feel their sexual energy and express it. Knowledge about one’s body is essential for fulfilling sex. Ancient texts such as Tantra stress the importance of this self-knowledge.

The attraction between a man and a woman is natural and to streamline it society has created the system of marriage. Marriage, however, should extend beyond physicality and into a spiritual union. The mere physical union between a man and a woman doesn’t last very long. To sustain a long-term relationship, a spiritual union is essential. A couple will feel more peace and harmony if they’re connected spiritually. This spiritual connection requires self-knowledge as well as faith in each other. Modern Tantra understands our souls and applies to people of all sexual orientations. The problems—and joys—heterosexual couples encounter are also faced by homosexual couples.